Everybody loves breakfast cereal. Talking about it, that is. Folks get a dreamy, faraway look in their eyes like they’re remembering their first kiss. Or puppy. Or car. And then they begin rhapsodizing about Alpha Bits or Boo Berry.
Next time you need a conversation starter, give it a try. In fact, you can try it out with me right now. Like this: “What was your favorite brand of cereal growing up?”
Thanks for asking. Here’s my entire breakfast cereal dossier.
Age 6 through 9: In descending order of preference – Rice Krispies, Corn Flakes, Raisin Bran (Kellogg’s not Post) and Cheerios. All with enough sugar added to create slimy silvery milk goop.
Age 10 through 12: Cap’n Crunch. Multiple refills until the original milk – increasingly thick, grainy and orange – finally disappeared.
Age 13: Kix. Life. Cocoa Krispies. Lucky Charms (charms only).
Age 14: Cap’n Crunch. Heroin. Relapse.
Age 15 through 17: Grape Nuts. Wheat Chex (normally part of a nutritious breakfast but only as part of a snack mix to accompany soda).
Age 18 through 21: Grape Nuts. Wheat Chex (again, only as part of a snack mix; this time to accompany beer).
Age 22 through 25: "Who has time for breakfast?"
Age 26 through 29: Honey Nut Cheerios. For breakfast, for snack, for pre-party hangover-prevention, for after-party midnight snack, for morning-after hangover cure, for…
Age 30: Quaker Shredded Wheat
Age 31 to 49: Barbara’s Shredded Oats
Never: Frosted Flakes, Frosted Mini-Wheats, Trix, Froot Loops, Cocoa Puffs, Special K. Or anything cinnamon-y. Or apple-y.
Now: I stick mostly to oatmeal. Although (shhh, this is a secret) I recently bought a box of Cap’n Crunch, drove it home, sneaked it into the house, hid it in a cupboard and enjoyed a bowl late at night when nobody was watching. With vanilla soymilk. Yum.
Then, later: Yuck. My teeth hurt.
What is your favorite cold cereal?